ADHD AND WOMEN
For decades, ADHD was thought to be something that mainly affected energetic young boys who couldn’t sit still.
We now know that’s a myth.
ADHD can affect anyone - but for women, it often looks different, feels different, and changes across their lifetime in ways that are deeply connected to hormones, especially oestrogen.
Many women only discover their ADHD later in life, often after years of feeling “too emotional,” “too disorganised” or “too much.”
For many, that discovery brings both relief and sadness - relief at finally understanding themselves, and sadness for all the years they felt misunderstood.
Why are women under diagnosed?
Girls and women are often missed because their ADHD symptoms are less disruptive and more internal - though this isn't always the case as some girls and women do present the outwardly hyperactive symptoms.
Instead of bouncing off classroom walls, they might be daydreaming, anxious or overthinking.
They might appear organised because they have to be - building complex systems just to stay afloat.
Teachers, parents and even doctors may not recognise this as ADHD.
Research now shows ADHD is just as common in girls as in boys, but girls are often diagnosed years or decades later.
This delay means many women reach adulthood feeling chronically exhausted, anxious, or like they’re failing at things that seem easy for others.
Misdiagnosing and misunderstanding
When women seek help, their ADHD is often mistaken for something else - anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder or trauma.
While these conditions can co-exist, ADHD is frequently the root cause of the emotional turbulence, overwhelm and burnout that get misinterpreted.
A missed or incorrect diagnosis can mean years of treatments that never quite help, because the underlying neuro-developmental difference hasn’t been recognised.
Masking:
The invisible performance
From an early age, girls often learn to hide their struggles.
They copy others, overcompensate, stay late, apologise constantly and try to appear “together.”
This is called masking - a survival strategy that helps them fit in, but often leaves them feeling drained, anxious and disconnected from their true selves.
Masking can delay diagnosis because, from the outside, everything looks fine.
On the inside, it’s anything but.
Oestrogen and ADHD
Oestrogen doesn’t just affect the reproductive system, it also shapes how the brain uses dopamine, the key neurotransmitter involved in attention, motivation and emotional regulation.
Dopamine is the ‘fuel’ that powers Executive Functioning - the set of mental skills that help us plan, prioritise, focus and follow through.
In ADHD, dopamine systems work differently, which is why sustaining effort, switching tasks or managing emotions can be hard.
Oestrogen enhances dopamine activity. When oestrogen levels are high, dopamine signalling tends to work better - and ADHD symptoms may ease slightly.
When oestrogen drops, dopamine drops too, and ADHD symptoms often intensify.
This means that hormonal fluctuations throughout life can have a major impact on how ADHD feels and functions.
The hormonal timeline: Oestrogen across the lifespan
Childhood and puberty
In childhood, girls with ADHD often fly under the radar.
But things can change dramatically at puberty, when oestrogen levels surge and begin cycling monthly.
This new hormonal rhythm can amplify emotional sensitivity, anxiety and overwhelm - especially when paired with the growing demands of teenage life.
Monthly Cycle, PMS and PMDD
In the follicular phase (the first half of the menstrual cycle), Oestrogen rises and many women notice slightly better focus and motivation.
In the luteal phase (the days before menstruation), Oestrogen falls - and so does dopamine.
This can lead to a noticeable dip in energy, mood and self-control, often intensifying PMS symptoms such as irritability, emotional sensitivity, brain fog and overwhelm.
For some women, this drop triggers PMDD (Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder), a severe form of premenstrual sensitivity where ADHD symptoms - especially emotional regulation, impulsivity and Executive Function - can become almost unbearable.
Pregnancy and Postpartum
During pregnancy, Oestrogen levels rise to their highest point in a woman’s life, and some women report temporary improvements in focus, calmness and mood.
But after birth, Oestrogen levels crash - dramatically.
This postpartum drop can leave new mothers feeling foggy, anxious, tearful and overwhelmed - often mistaken for postnatal depression when, in some cases, it’s the sudden loss of Oestrogen amplifying underlying ADHD.
Perimenopause
Perimenopause - the transitional years leading up to menopause - brings huge fluctuations in Oestrogen.
Levels rise and fall unpredictably, and these swings can wreak havoc on dopamine regulation.
Many women describe this time as ‘losing control’ of their emotions, focus and memory.
For some, ADHD becomes visible for the first time here, even if they’ve masked or managed well for decades.
Menopause and beyond
When menopause arrives, Oestrogen levels fall permanently.
For women with ADHD, this can lead to a lasting increase in symptoms like forgetfulness, mental fatigue, disorganisation and emotional volatility.
It’s not “just getting older” - it’s neurochemistry changing shape.
Understanding this connection helps many women realise:
“It wasn’t all in my head - it was in my hormones too.”
Compassion and connection
Recognising the role of Oestrogen - and the lifelong hormonal dance that shapes focus, motivation and emotion - can be profoundly validating. It reframes years of struggle through a new lens: your brain wasn’t failing you; it was adapting.
Diagnosis and support can transform self-blame into self-understanding. With the right insight, strategies and compassion, women can finally stop fighting their brains and start working with them.
You are not forgetful, lazy or broken.
You are living in a body and brain that have been misunderstood for far too long.
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